A kiss.

What a cute thing a kiss can be.

It's unexpected.
You're adorable. So shy. So sly?

A kiss sure can make a guy feel nice.

Sure looking forward to just stayin' in the moment.

If somebody's got soul, you gotta make the move.

I feel shitty.

I blame no sleep, and life being in an incredibly confusing time at the moment. Nothing is set anymore. I'm not clearly defined as what I want to do, and what I'll be studying next year is highly dependent on Saturday's outcomes.

I have been miserable, and have no inclination at all to start and finish my final paper of the year for ENGL by Friday. My initiative is gone. I need to find a job. I need to get a resume together. I need to get going with life.

I'm at murky period with where I want to take my creative ideals. Do I wish to interpret words, and scripts, into a flesh and blood character? Or would I rather bring words to life through direction?

They seem like big questions, but I just don't know where to pour my creative integrity.

What mediums do I want to explore? Is Improv for me? Just doing callbacks for the Impromaniacs was stressful enough for some reason. I don't really like doing short scenes. They are really painful for me. I just love stories and longform. Hopefully, Mr. Morris' workshops will pay off.

And then, I'm lonely again. And for a brief moment today, I felt what many people do. I just needed to connect with someone physically and intimately. A quick thing to patch the hole. A quick fuck. A connection was all I craved, and I know what others feel. I understand, but I don't want to give into it. It's running. Hiding.
And I'm too scared to hide.

I'm too scared to search.

So I stand there.
Whistling an awkward tune.

Doo. Doo. Doo.

Where do we go from here?

Anger. Betrayal. Dreamworlds.

A girl in the shape of a monster.

A monster in the shape of a girl.

Yes, so I'm studying Shape of a Girl in ENGl 145. Thankfully. It's a wonderful play.
I like plays.

School is almost over. I don't have anything planned for the summer other than work, someplace, and perhaps the Impromaniacs, or Victoria Shakespeare Society. Plus singing lessons, and continuation of the dancing.

Its going to be terribly weird not having my life full of theatrics, and extreme busy-ness.

Of course, now my normal human tendencies might come to light. Like, my bitter singularity. Really? Well I'm not bitter, I'm just frustrated that nothing has happened yet. Not to be a prick, but I'm a very good catch. Hook me, and you'll get the whopper. BIG FISH. CHYEAH.
Hmm?

I'm not really doing anything to work on the whole being single thing, and to tell you the truth I'm pretty lazy about it. In my dreamworld, someone (who was extremely attractive and had quite the exquisite personality) would want to pursue me. And I wouldn't have to do any work.

But that's the part of me that doesn't know how to flirt. Won't actually put himself out there.

And I'm would like an attainable crush fo' once. Current: a little old.

Oh yeah. Plan for summer: GET OUT. HAVE FUN. PARTY.
But not be a slut.

O Morpheus, Dreamking, you are a wondrous man. O Sandman.

"Not with a bang, but a whimper."

Ps. I'm incredibly excited for Second Year and all the Auditions I'm going to do.

A tuesday morning.

I wanted to talk about me for a little bit before I started on all my wonderful homework for reading break. And it is true I have done a lot of reading.

I have to write one and a half essays this week to stay on a nice schedule for the rest of the semester. I have to finish my theatre history essay on Commedia dell'Arte, and I should get started on my Greek and Roman mythology essay. It's hard when you don't know exactly what your argument is going to be. Am I trying to elaborate on the efforts of one modern Commedia expert's efforts in the artform in that it is in fact a reconstruction, or is it an actual revival of Commedia?

Yeah. That should be fun. I'm actually slightly excited. I've been getting that way with some of my papers this semester. It's friggin' odd.

Other than school homework, I have been great. Busy as fuck with rehearsals and work study and having a functioning social life. MMM.

There. That is all.
See you in a week?
JKJKJK

Dreaming big.

I could be a dancer.










I am going to create art.
Theatrical, meaningful, and beautiful.

Dancing and acting will go hand in hand.

BLOW YOUR MIND

I just watched this movie called: The Fall (which you might have guessed). Anyway, it stars Lee Pace of Pushing Daisies (Lurve) along with an amazing little girl who has a complicated name. Anyway, it's absolutely breathtaking visually, and the story is so beautiful.
Basically, the story is set in the early 1900s, around the beginning of silent film in a hospital in America. The little girl has broken her arm, and through her explorations of the hospital meets Roy, a bedridden man who can't feel his toes. He slowly starts to weave a magical story of bandits for her. Of course, it isn't as simple as that. And it is definitely a mature film.
I heavily enjoyed the power at which Roy's desires affected the world around him, but the little girl remained completely innocent, yet had such deep compassion. I especially enjoyed the end's deconstruction of their lives.
I want someone to watch it so I can discuss all of it. I also don't want to spoil any part of it.
So go watch it. Then get back to me.
It's beautiful.

Well allo Cyber World!

Okay. I'm starting another blog.

I haven't done it in many, many years, but I've been inspired to return.
And be honest and truthful.

I don't know if this will be a record of my life. Or my artistic side.

BUT It'll be a very exciting adventure. Mhmmm yes!

Christmas is tomorrow. I really hope my family can get over to Victoria. I'll be incredibly disappointed if they do not. I guess I could venture over, too. But the buses and ferries are hell.
HELL I say!

Well I hope all of you have a wonderful holidays. I like the aspect of spilling myself out to the world.